Breath Again
by Left my heart in Paris
Summary: Instead of letting her go in Paris, what if Gibbs goes after her? Can their relationship still survive if she is still the career driven women and him the ruthless no none-sense team leader while also being miles apart? Major Jibbs, slight AU, take on what could have happened if they;d stayed together after Paris.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, am purely borrowing these characters for my own and your amusement…**

****_**Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back  
At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?  
All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one  
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns – Sara Bareilles, Breath again**_

Breath Again

She looked out the window and wondered, wondered how she'd ended up how she was, how she'd let her life get this way. So messed up, so confusing, her heart just lying on the ground in tattered pieces with no one to help her put it back together.

Her finger traced a rain drop as it rolled down the window, she let out a sigh, taking a breath she almost regretted what she was doing, why she was doing it, but she couldn't change it now, she was too stubborn to go back and undone what she'd done, she would just forever have to live with the guilt, the regret, the pain.

"Are you alright miss?" the air hostess asked her, noting how upset that the redhead looked.

"I'm fine" Jenny spoke, her voice hoarse with emotion.

"We'll be landing soon and the storms beginning to pick up, you might want to put your belt on" she told the redhead. Jenny nodded and let the other women continue on her rounds, once again happy to be alone, she never liked people prying into her life.

The redhead closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing herself to get a grip on her emotions, she would not allow herself to breakdown until she was in the private sanctuary of her own home.

….

An hour later and the lonely redhead stood waiting for her bags, looking around she noted the many couples who stood together, some just talking and laughing, some kissing and holding hands, then there were also families, the husband and wife looking at their children with hazy looks in their eyes of love and pride. Maybe they only seemed to be everywhere because Jenny noticed more of what she had given up in the last twenty four hours.

Moments later, feeling very uncomfortable in a what was becoming a crowded area of baggage claim, Jenny's bag came along the conveyer belt and so she grabbed it and began to make her way out of the airport.

As she walked she could have sworn she saw a familiar man with grey flecked brown hair in front of her, Jenny stopped and couldn't help but mutter "Jethro" but all hope in her mind and heart was dashed when she saw him turn around, no it was not the man she'd left behind, not the man she would love until her dying day. "I need a drink" she mumbled before running a tiered hand down her face.

It had been a long and emotional day, all she wanted was to go to her large, lonely, home that had been handed down her family through generations, and then curl up in bed and drown her sorrows in a big bottle of bourbon, but alas she then realised it would only remind her of him more, she then also realised that she also didn't have any bourbon at home.

….

An hour's drive and a stop at the supermarkets later Jenny finally arrived home, her hands full with a shopping bag and her duffle bag, so it took longer to open the front door but she managed to, getting soaked by the storm raging outside in the process, her hair curling and sticking to her face.

"Shit" she muttered as she stumbled into the house, her duffle bag being caught by the door handle of the door, sending her flying into the dusty phone cabinet in the darkness.

She'd already opened the first of the two bottle of bourbon she'd bought, while in the parking lot of the supermarket and had a large swig and now took the opportunity to have another, she wiped her mouth to catch the bourbon dribbling down her chin before she swallowed the burning liquid.

Her bags hit the ground with a loud thud as Jenny felt the walls for the light switch, she could now see how the house had been neglected at the months she had been away, a thin layer of dust covered all of the beloved furniture that like the house had been passed down the generation, the large grandfather clock in the hall being one of them.

Jenny walked over to the banister of the stairs and ran her hand over where the wooden handle swirled to a finish along with the door, they were her two favourite things about the house, one of the only things she loved about the house, other than that she hated it, hated the memories it held for her, watching her mother die of a slow and horrible illness, then finding her father dead in his study. The two major life events still haunted her till this day.

Going back to the shopping bag on the cabinet she grabbed the open bottle of bourbon and was about to head upstairs when she heard a noise come from her living room, it had been the sound of someone walking around, she believed she was the only person in the house, so it must be an intruder.

Within seconds she'd pulled her gun out of her duffle bag and was approaching the door to the living room as quietly as she possibly could, then she noticed the light coming from under the door, taking a breath to sober herself quickly, she reached over and turned the door handle quickly and pushed the door open her gun drawn.

The minute she saw who it was, she dropped her gun on the floor, at the back of her mind thanking that the safety was on so that it didn't go off. "Jethro" she spoke his name for the second time since she landed back in D.C. This time though, she wanted him to turn around and be someone else.

As he turned at his place by the fireplace, it was him, it was really him. His thick brown and silver flecked her sticking to his head, his t-shirt covered in patches from the rain. He hadn't been there long obviously.

The steely gaze of his blue eyes making her feel uncomfortable. She could see the anger, the hurt, the upset she had caused him. She'd left him with nothing but a letter with a flimsy excuse. So why was he here? she would never get an answer unless she asked him.

"What are you doing here Jethro?" she asked him, taking an unconscious step towards him.

Gibbs smiled "I came for you" he told her like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"How did you get here before me?" Jenny asked him, trying to not think about how his last statement had warmed her heart and cause butterflies in her stomach to take flight, a way that only he could make her feel.

"Does it matter?" Gibbs asked her with a slight chuckle as he stepped towards her and reached out to touch her damp, red curls but she stopped him but grabbing his hand and cupping it with her own.

"You shouldn't have come" Jenny told him, turning away from him and dropping his hand.

"Why?" Gibbs asked her "Were you lying when you told me you loved me?" he asked her, she'd told him she loved him, she's written it in that stupid letter.

Jenny's green eyes dared to make contact with Gibbs' blue again "Of course I wasn't" she told him "But you don't love me" she reminded him.

"How can you think that?" He asked her, running a hand through his dark, damp hair, beginning to get frustrated with her.

"Well you don't…." Jenny began but Gibbs's cut the beautiful redhead off in her tracks.

"Would I have come after you if I didn't love you, would I be standing here if I didn't love you" With every sentence he spoke he took a stride towards her. Jenny wanted to step back but couldn't she just wanted to be with him.

"Would I ask you to move in with me if I didn't love you, would I have bought this ring if I didn't love you" he said pulling out a jewellery box from his trouser pocket and opening it to show her a simple yet elegant engagement ring with a diamond in the middle with a small green stone one side and a blue the other, representing both of them.

"Jethro…" Jenny shook her head, this couldn't be happening, this was what she didn't want, she didn't want to have to choose between a life with him and a career, it wouldn't be fair on either of them and it would kill her.

Gibbs got down on one knee making the redhead gasp once again and her heart start to beat even faster than it already was and then he began to talk and all thought left her mind. "Jen, I planned to do this in front of the Eiffel tower but you always like to do things on your terms, you stubborn, infuriating, maddening, beautiful, funny, smart, amazing women, I love you, I know you don't believe me but I do, I may not say it often but I promise to show it in everything I do for you, in my actions towards you, will you marry me?" he asked her.

Jenny gulped and in that moment, Gibbs thought his whole world was over, she was going to say no, he was going to have her leave him for real this time, that he was going to let the only other women he'd ever loved slip through his fingers.

"Jethro, I want to marry you…..but…." she began, Gibbs got back up to his feet and his hands went to her shoulders to comfort her, "The letter, I wasn't lying when I told you I've taken a promotion" she told him, exasperate, "I love you but we can't get married" she finished.

"Why?" Gibbs asked her, his voice full of hurt and concern.

"The promotions means I'll be traveling, I'll be away from D.C for long periods of times, I could be the next director of NCIS" she told him "I'd been neglecting you, what we have might not survive that, you'll be here and I could be anywhere, we would barely see each other" she began to ramble but Gibbs stopped her by kissing her.

"Mmmm, that doesn't solve the problem" Jenny told him when they parted moments later.

Gibbs smiled at her before kissing her gently on the nose "We can make it work Jen, we'll find a way" he assured her.

"I won't be one of those stay at home wives, cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids Jethro, I want to work, I want to have a career" she told him, her hands going to his chest as she looked up at him.

He grinned at her "Wouldn't expect anything else of you Jen" he assured her before lifting up the ring in his hand, she offered him her left hand and he slid the ring onto her finger before pulling her in for another breath taking kiss.

"About the letter…." Jenny began moments later.

"What letter?" Gibbs asked turning with the redhead still in the confines of his arms, and threw the letter into the fire that was still roaring in the fireplace. They watched the letter burn, it a symbol of all the doubts, all of the pain, the hurt being washed away and a new day, a new dawn beginning.

TBC….Maybe.

**Should I continue or make it a one-shot, it's up to you guys.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had been two weeks, two weeks full of ups and downs, Gibbs had to get used to the idea that Jenny would be living all the way across the Atlantic in London for the next six months at least. While Jenny had had to get used to the ring on her finger, the arm around her waist as she slept, used to the idea that she could have the job and the man she loved, in the end she could have both.

Gibbs didn't want to be parted from his fiancé for months at a time with nothing but phone calls, but he also didn't want to be the one to hold her back, he knew eventually she would become the director, she had such potential, he'd seen it from the moment he'd set eyes on her, she would go far and he would be at her side every moment, he was proud of her.

They lay in Jenny's George town bedroom, they hadn't decided where they would live once they were married or when they would get married, all of that could wait a little longer to be discussed, they'd just wanted to spend their last two weeks together being a couple as much as they could, staying at Jenny's house made sense as all her stuff was there to pack for her trip.

Jenny lay with her head on Gibbs' chest with an arm lazily around his waist while he had his arms wrapped around her and head bent, buried into her hair. Neither wanted to be without the other, not during their last night together, so they clung on for dear life.

Now the hours ticked into the early hours of the morning, the couple slept soundly, not realising that they would soon be ripped from their dreams by the alarm the redhead had set to wake her in time to get to the airport.

The moment the offending sound began to screech out from the alarm clock, the ex-marines eyes shot open at lightning speed, he reached over the redhead and gave it a rough tap to turn it off. He pressed a kiss to Jenny's head and found she herself was already awake.

He moved to kiss her lips, savouring the morning kiss for a moment, kissing her in bed, while her mind was still fuzzy with sleep was something he was going to miss among the many other things he was going to miss.

"Wanna share a shower?" She asked him "Saves times and the environment" she continued as she ran her hand under his old NCIS t-shirt. Gibbs had never been out of the bed fast enough while the sound of Jenny's laughter filled the empty, dark house.

….

Two hours later they stood in a busy Dulles airport, this was as far as Gibbs could go and it broke both of their hearts, this was the part that they both had been dreading for two weeks, tried to avoid thinking and talking about.

Jenny took a breath and spun on her heels to face her fiancé, something she still wasn't used to calling Gibbs, referring to his as her fiancé was something she'd only ever mildly dreamed about.

"Call me when you get settled in your hotel?" Gibbs asked her as he lifted his arms to rest his hands on her shoulders.

Jenny smiled at him "Of course" she assured him "And you promise you'll go back to bed when you get home before going to work" she added with her own amount of concern about him, it was early and he hardly slept anyway and she wanted him fully rested so he wouldn't do anything stupid at work.

Gibbs didn't answer her, instead just smiled and kissed her on the forehead as he pulled her in for a full hug, "I'll miss you" Jenny muttered into his chest.

"Just think, the sooner you go, the sooner you'll come back" Gibbs told her, trying to not make her so upset about leaving him.

"I know but I just feel we haven't talked about the engagement, like I'm just running from it" She confessed, looking down at her shoes.

He lifted her chin so she was forced to look into his eyes, "We have plenty of time to talk later" he assured her before kissing her on the mouth deeply, she wrapped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair.

"I love you" She breathed against his ear when they parted.

"I love you" Gibbs repeated making her smile, God he loved her smile, he kissed her again, just not able to resist.

Jenny then stepped away from Gibbs, already missing his touch and presence beside her. "I'll see you in three months" she told him, it having already been agreed she could come back in three months for a week.

"Three months" Gibbs chuckled, it seemed so far away, he just hoped the time would fly bye. "Be safe" he added after a moment.

"I think I'm the one who should be telling you to be safe" Jenny told Gibbs.

"Really" Gibbs challenged her with a raised eyebrow.

"Positano" was all she said with a knowing smile that Gibbs had no choice but to return.

Jenny's flight number was called over the tannoy, both of their hearts sunk, "I have to go" Jenny sighed.

Gibbs nodded and pressed a quick kiss to her lips "Remember to call me" he reminded her.

She nodded before picking up her duffle bag and walking away from the man she loved and going to start her new adventure, knowing he was here, her home was here.

He watched and watched until the glimmer of fiery red left his life, this time though, he knew she'd be back, she wasn't leaving permanently and he'd put a ring on her finger to prove it.

…

Three hours and four cups of strong black coffee later Gibbs walked into the bullpen at NCIS, trying to find some sense of routine, some sense of reality. Of course then he realised that both Jenny and Decker had left the MCRT and now it was just him and Stan Burley.

They would now have a lot more work to do as they were down two people. "Morning Boss" Burley greeted from his place as his desk, the one next to Gibbs'. "It's good to be back within the orange walls isn't it" Stan joked, it was the first day back for them both.

"Any messages?" Gibbs growled at the younger agent as usual.

"Uhh, the director wanted to see you in his office right away" Burley informed Gibbs. He got no response other than the older man dropping an empty coffee cup in the bin and then Gibbs going to the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Moments later Gibbs stood outside Director Morrow's office, waiting to be seen, "Come in Gibbs" Morrow's voice beckoned him in. "Welcome back" Tom greeted his best agent with a warm smile. "Did Jenny get on her flight okay?" he asked.

"Uh" Gibbs looked a little shocked as to why Tom would ask him such a question if he didn't know about his relationship with Jenny.

Morrow noticed the younger man's worried look "Oh, She informed me of your relationship, I guess a congratulations is in order"

"Thanks, she went this morning" Gibbs mumbled, never really liking people knowing so much about his personal life. "You wanted to see me?" Gibbs asked wanting to get to the reason he'd been called there so the sooner he could leave.

"Yes, I've noticed that you are two men down, now ideally, I would have preferred to get two people but I've got one, he's an ex Baltimore cop, name's Tony DiNozzo, he'll be joining your team" Morrow explained just as his intercom buzzed.

"Agent DiNozzo has arrived sir" came the secretaries voice.

"Send him in Jane" Morrow answered.

Agent DiNozzo then walked in, short spiky black hair, expensive clothing, expensive cologne, Gibbs though this guy looked too much like a playboy to be trusted to be a good agent, but he'd learnt from the past, especially Jenny, not to judge a book by its cover, this kid might be good on the inside.

"Special agent Gibbs meet Agent DiNozzo, the new member to your team" Morrow introduced them.

"Looking forward to it" Tony grinned at Gibbs showing his perfect white teeth.

"Uh huh" Gibbs grunted, "I'll show you around" he told Tony before walking out of the Directors office and the younger man followed.

It was only later that Gibbs realised he now had to work with Burley and Tony, who were so alike it gave Gibbs a headache.

He looked opposite him at Jenny's empty desk and wished for nothing more than her to walk in and make some quick remark about Tony and Stan and have her knock them down a few pegs in only the way she could.

"Three months" He muttered closing his eyes, planning his week with his fiancé out in his mind, hoping it would only come sooner.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jenny had been away for two months now, living in London, far far away from her fiancé. They tried to talk every night but the time difference made it hard along with the fact Gibbs always seemed to be buried with cases.

The redhead wished she could be there for him, to make him feel better, help him relax after the stress of the day, but there was nothing she could do but talk to him and the sound of her voice alone didn't seem to be enough.

Meanwhile Gibbs knew that him being grumpy and moody a lot of the time and that it strained their relationship and ruined their calls, but he couldn't help it, he missed her so much and it didn't help with the fact that he had a constant flow of cases and working with Stan and Tony, who were just as bad as each other didn't help.

Gibbs sat in the dark of the bullpen, his head thumping, they'd just finished a three day case trying to catch a serial killer. He was only now finding time to breath. He also realised that he should have called Jenny by now, considering the fact he hadn't called her yesterday due to the case. He knew she'd be angry at him, so decided to perhaps put it off for tonight.

"Hey Boss" Tony greeted as he walked around the corner of the bullpen, he and Stan had been ordered to ensure the perp was well and truly locked up and would be guarded at all times.

Stand then walked around the corner minutes later "Hey DiNozzo, Boss, you wanna go check out that new bar?" He asked his two team mates.

"Yeah" Tony nodded with an eager grin.

"What about you boss?" Stan asked turning to Gibbs.

"No" Gibbs replied, not even bothering to shake his head.

"Oh come on boss" Tony tried to push Gibbs into coming out drinking with him and Stan. "Don't you wanna go out and meet some ladies?"

"No" Gibbs told him.

Stan came up behind Tony and put a hand on the younger man's shoulder "I think it's best to leave him to his boat, she's the only women in his life" he teased Gibbs who just glared at him, if only they knew.

After a couple of moments the two young men decided to leave. Gibbs was happy to finally be alone, he himself decided to take their advice and go spend some time with his boat.

His slipped his jacket on, just as Ducky walked into the bullpen. "Hey Duck" He greeted his old friend, anxious to go home, to perhaps give Jenny that important phone call.

"Jethro, I see your leaving, I wondered if you'd like to grab a drink with me?" Ducky offered.

"I dunno, I should really be getting home" Gibbs said, scratching the back of his head.

"I come on, only for one drink, it won't hurt and I'm sure you're call to Jennifer can wait" Ducky tried to twist his arm, Gibbs gave in with a huff and a shrug of his shoulders.

….

After having two large bourbons at the bar, Gibbs stumbled into his house, it still as dark and lonely as he had left it three days.

He wasn't completely out of his head but he wasn't completely sober, perhaps she shouldn't have drunk on an empty stomach, bit he decided it was too late to eat now, he knew if Jenny knew he hadn't been eating much she'd be angry and concerned, but what she didn't know, wouldn't hurt her

Sighing, Gibbs had to remind himself that he still had a month to wait for Jenny to be home and even then it was only for a week, it just wouldn't be long enough to make up for the three months.

He took a deep breath to sober himself, to forget the hard fact he would eventually have to face. By taking a deep breath, he began to smell faint smoke. It wasn't right.

Gibbs pulled his gun from his holster and looked around his house, noting the faint glow of light coming from underneath the door of the open plan living, dining and kitchen area. He could also hear faint music coming from somewhere.

The agent kicked open the door, letting it open with a squeak, "Freeze federal agent" he yelled with his gun drawn. Instead of the intruder freezing, he was the one to freeze.

It seemed someone had broken into his house to set up what seemed to be a romantic dinner for two, a red table cloth had been draped over his small dining table, two candle sticks with candles that had been stashed in his cupboard collecting dust, stood proudly alit on the table, two places were set, plates full of noodles from the local Chinese take away and red wine sat in two glasses.

The glow had come from the lit fire place and the music was from where his old stereo played soft jazz. "What the…" he mumbled to himself, his head throbbing with confusion and alcohol.

Someone came up behind him and covered his eyes with their hands, the mysterious person's breath was hot against his ear "Guess who" a familiar female's voice whispered in his ear, sending shivers down Gibbs' spine.

As quick as a flash, he turned around and pulled the women into a very tight hug, "Jen, what are you doing here" He whispered into her red hair.

"Well hello to you too" Jenny grinned at him, so happy to finally be in his arms.

"Hi Jen" Gibbs grinned, cupping her face with his hands before moving to kiss her with all the love and passion he had, Jenny kissed him back, her hands running through his hair, gripping Gibbs tight, not wanting to let go of him, for a very long time. The romantic meal for two was soon forgotten.

….

An hour later and the couple lay in Gibbs' bed, both just taking a moment to be with one another, to be in each other's embrace.

Jenny lay with her head on Gibbs' chest to which she occasionally placed a lazy kiss, while he ran a hand up and down her bare arm, both were comfortable and right where they wanted to be.

"Jen" Gibbs broke the silence for once.

"Mmm" Jenny answered lazily as she turned to lay on her stomach so that her green eyes could meet his gorgeous blue.

"When did you get here?" he asked her, wondering how she'd had time to set up the romantic dinner that they were yet to eat.

She pushed her hair out of her face and looked over at the alarm clock to check the time "Hmm about four hours ago" she assured him.

"So that's why Ducky insisted on buying me a drink?" Gibbs asked her.

"Maybe" she teased, biting her lower lip.

"How very deviant of you" Gibbs growled before lunging at her and rolling her over so he was on top of her, he could look down into her beautiful jade pools, he then began to kiss her shoulders, her neck, then her face.

"Jethro" Jenny tried to interrupt him while she ran her hands down his back, but it was no use "Jethro, we need to talk" she told him.

"I'm listening" Gibbs assured her as he continued to kiss her neck.

"No, it's really important" She said, her voice almost whiny.

Gibbs stopped and looked at her in concern "What is it?" He asked, his voice soft as well as his touch as he pushed her hair out of her face.

"I want get married" she told him.

"We are" Gibbs chuckled grabbing her left hand and showing him the engagement ring, he then pressed a kiss to the palm of her hand.

"No I mean, I want to get married soon" Jenny smiled at his reaction which was the perfect image of shocked and confused.

"Why?" he asked her, it wasn't that he didn't want to marry her and they both knew it, it was what they both wanted more than anything. "I thought we were going to wait until your stint in London was over" he told her, he sat up in the bed and so did she, the conversation was serious.

"That's the thing" Jenny told him.

"They've extended your time in London" Gibbs stated, looking down at the cream sheets not at her.

"No, they've cut them but they've decided to station me somewhere else" Jenny told him regretfully.

"Where?"

"Cairo" Jenny almost cringed, knowing he would be even more worried, that it would be even more dangerous and also mean less opportunities to contact him.

"What do they want you to do there?" Gibbs asked her.

"I'll be working with Mossad on anti-terrorism" the redhead told him.

Gibbs now understood her reasoning for wanting to be married, the chances of something happening to either of them doubled, "How long will you be stationed there?" he asked as he ran a hand down her shoulder.

"I don't know, however long Morrow decides" Jenny admitted, going to Cairo wasn't something that she necessarily really wanted to do, but something she had to do to get to where she wanted to go.

Gibbs was silent for a moment before he spoke again "We'll need a witness".

Jenny broke out into a grin and kissed her fiancé on the lips "I love you Jethro" she told him "And I missed you so much" she held him close, burying her face in his neck, taking in the comforting smell of sawdust, bourbon and coffee.

"I've missed you too Jenny" Gibbs relished the feeling of the women he loved in his arms.

TBC…

**Hope you guys like, please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It had been a year, a year had passed since they'd been married, a year since Jenny had surprised him that fateful night and almost begged him to marry her there that very instant, a the night Gibbs had realised how her working away really did make him worry beyond belief about her, made him realise how scared Jenny actually was of losing him.

The year had had many ups and downs, a year of change. Stan Burley had been relocated to a ship, something he'd always wanted, which meant it had been just Gibbs and Tony for a while, then they'd stumbled across Kate Todd, a head strong, by the book, sort of girl but after being at NCIS for a couple of months she found she liked bending the rules, and then Tim McGee followed soon after, a young, nervous, geek, but he was kind at heart and had the potential to be a great agent.

Not long after Jenny and Gibbs had been married a new forensic scientist joined NCIS, her name was Abby Sciuto, at first Gibbs had been a little apprehensive with trusting someone so young and flamboyant with important evidence, but she'd won him over with her cheerful smile and hugs. She was the closest thing he could get to having Kelly back, Abby had sort of become his daughter, in fact, sometimes Gibbs felt like he was a father to all the members of his team.

Meanwhile Jenny had hated being away from her husband, especially so soon after they'd gotten married, they hadn't even had time for a proper honeymoon or anything. She'd found that Cairo was a lot hotter than she'd expected, so much so she often found herself thinking of the hot attic in Marseille, the second night to be precise.

She did manage to come home for two days every couple of months, those two days were mostly spent in bed, mostly just holding one another and not speaking, neither of them minded it, they had their solitude for just two days, it was nothing else but them. However the last time he'd seen her had been almost three months ago.

…..

Gibbs walked into the bullpen early one morning, his coffee cup in hand, he'd been up all night, waiting for Jenny to call him from her latest burner cell but it had never came, he knew she was on a high profile job that was on a need to know basis and he didn't. She always tried to call on the third Wednesday of every month, each time from a different burner cell.

In his gut he thought, no he knew something was wrong, but there was no way he could find out, he just hoped that this time it was wrong.

"Morning Boss" Tim McGee greeted from his place behind his desk that was next to Gibbs', Tony had kept his desk and Gibbs had reluctantly given Kate Jenny's old desk, despite how much he didn't want to.

"McGee" He grumbled to the younger man before practically throwing himself in his seat.

He couldn't do it anymore, he had to follow his gut, he turned on his computer and logged on to the NCIS agent database thingy, having remembered Jenny showing him that it was one way he could track her location, of course at the time he'd just been staring at her mouth as she spoke, well that had been until she slapped him on the back of the head and told him to pay attention.

Once on the data base he searched her name 'Jennifer Shepard' and then her NCIS ID picture taken when she'd first joined NCIS, when he'd seen her on her first day popped up and he clicked on it.

It showed her name, previous positions and her current one, he looked at her current position and all was written was classified. His heart dropped, when he'd looked last week it had said Anti-terrorism. What did classified mean? What was going on? His heart was now hammering in his chest and he found he couldn't breathe.

He clicked on the words classified and it told him to type in his security clearance code, he did that but it just said in-valid in big bold, blood red letters. In moments Gibbs found himself hitting the computer screen and all the keys on the keyboard.

"Agent Gibbs!" A voice bellowed from the top of the catwalk, in front of MTAC, the special agent turned and looked up at the catwalk to find Tom Morrow standing there, his arms crossed over his chest and face red with anger, yet eyes red with tears and frustration, "MTAC now" he yelled at Gibbs before spinning on his heels and walking over to scan his eye.

Gibbs got up out of his chair and took the stairs two at a time before following his boss into MTAC.

"Leave us" Morrow told the technicians who were typing away on the computers, they all took one look at Gibbs and ran for it.

"Is this him?" A women spoke on the large screen in front of them, she looked tired and her dark brown hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail showing her widows peek, her eyes a soft brown, full of concern, her Israeli accent was thick.

"Yes, this is Gibbs" Morrow nodded to the women on the screen.

"What's going on?" Gibbs asked, he knew it had to do with Jenny, there was nothing else it could be.

"Are you sure he can be trusted?" The women on the screen spoke to Morrow again.

"Of course" Morrow nodded confidently, "He's one of if not the best agent I have" he added.

"Would somebody tell me what the hell is going on!" Gibbs yelled making both Morrow and the strange women look at him.

"Jethro you might want to sit down" Morrow told him, putting a hand on the younger man's arm.

"No, just tell me" Gibbs yelled, shrugging Morrow off, he prayed in his head, in his heart that Jenny hadn't left him like Shannon had, that she was okay.

"There was an ambush…." Morrow began to tell Gibbs.

"Is she okay?" Gibbs interrupted him.

"Jethro, She was….."

"Just tell me!" Gibbs yelled, his voice full of an agony that both the strange women and Morrow didn't know existed.

"She's stable for now" Morrow told him, Gibbs' heart calmed and stopped beating so fast, but he didn't like the for now.

"When do I leave?" Gibbs asked his boss, his blue eyes full of hope.

"I don't think…." Morrow began but once again the ex-marine cut him off.

"She's my _wife_, I'm not letting her be alone in foreign hospital" He exclaimed.

"She's not alone officer Da…" Morrow explained pointing to the women on the screen.

"I don't give a damn" Gibbs yelled "My wife needs me"

"You'll be on the next red-eye within the hour" Morrow told him.

"I'll meet him when he lands" The women on the screen spoke up before ending the video call.

Morrow turned to talk to Gibbs again but the younger man was already gone.

…..

The moment Gibbs stepped off of the plane, he was hit by a pulsation of heat, but that didn't stop him marching off, his duffle bag swung over his shoulder, the very duffle bag he kept in his car for emergencies like this.

He looked around, his eyes squinting in the sun light against the tarmac for the women who'd been on the screen but he couldn't see her anywhere, "Special agent Gibbs" he turned upon hearing the female voice.

She was shorter and skinnier than he expected from seeing her on the MTAC screen, "Ziva David" She offered him her hand, he took it apprehensively and shook, "You'll be happy to know she is awake and that the doctors are confident that she will make a full recovery" she told him, she herself relived that her now close friend was okay and that she would finally get to be with her husband again.

"Good" Gibbs nodded as they walked to the women's car under the sweltering gaze of the sun, "Are you okay?" He motioned to the bandage on her wrist and bruise forming on her forehead, then he noticed she had a slight limp.

"Yes, I've been hurt worse" Ziva told him with a small smile before unlocking the car and getting in. Gibbs walked around the other side and wondered how someone like her would end up joining Mossed.

The pair reached the hospital in record time thanks to Ziva's driving technique and Gibbs egging her on, he himself drove similarly to her also he wanted to see his wife as soon as possible.

"She's in there" Ziva motioned to a dusty, small hospital room to the side, "I'll be out here if you need anything" she added before Gibbs walked in.

As he stepped closer to the bed, he noticed her small frame under the covers, She'd lost weight since he last saw her and her hair had grown too, at least the latter was something he liked.

"Jethro" he heard her quiet whisper and saw a weak hand raise itself from the bed.

"Jen" His voice was hoarse and his eyes became dark with emotion, he knelt and grabbed her hand and kissed it, "I'm here" He spoke to her once again.

Jenny's eyes shot open "I thought…" she began her voice still quiet "I thought this was a dream…." She smiled at him "You're here" she added, the volume of her voice raising a bit and her eyes becoming brighter.

"I'm here" he nodded with a smile.

"I thought I was never going to see you again" she almost exclaimed "Is Ziva okay?" she asked after a moment.

"A little bruised, she seemed fine" Gibbs assured her as he brushed a dirty red lock of her hair behind her ear.

"You've met her?" She asked and Gibbs nodded "She saved my life" Jenny added after a moment, grabbing his other hand and entwining their fingers.

"I know" Gibbs told her, he would thank Ziva David for the rest of his life for saving the women he loved, neither of them knew how they could ever re-pay her.

"I love you" the redhead told him as his thumbs stroked her bruised knuckles gently.

"I love you" Gibbs echoed her sentiment before kissing her lightly on the lips, something both had been frightened they'd never experience again.

Half an hour later Gibbs walked out of Jenny's room, she having fallen back asleep, he noticed Ziva leaning against the wall, he went to stand next to her.

"Thank you" he told her, not looking at her but the dusty floor they stood on.

"It was nothing" Ziva shrugged her shoulders, "I should have found her sooner, she wouldn't have lost so much blood, wouldn't have been so close to death"

Gibbs shook his head "She's alright that's what is important, we both owe you"

"If I'd come sooner, perhaps she wouldn't have lost the baby" Ziva shrugged her shoulders, presuming Gibbs knew about it, she presumed Jenny had told him of the miscarriage, of how she'd been almost three months pregnant, only having found out this morning, the same morning she found out she'd lost it.

Ziva sighed "I'm going to get her some water for when she wakes" she mumbled before going down the corridor leaving a shocked and broken Gibbs behind.

TBC….

**Hope you guys liked, please review. Any suggestions?**

**Please note the front cover I made for the story, if you can't tell its supposed to be the letter burning in the first chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want's to find an easy way  
To get out of our little heads

Have heart, my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess – Snow Patrol- Run.

Chapter 6

Jenny had stayed in the hospital for three weeks before she was able to fly back to the states, it had been hard for her to say goodbye and stop thanking Ziva, someone who had become one of her best friends, both women were sure thought that they would see one another soon.

Having Gibbs beside her though had made it easier to leave, he'd been there the whole time, encouraging her to get better, loving her, supporting her.

The fact he was doting on her made Jenny stick to her stomach, she still hadn't found the guts to tell him about the miscarriage, part of her felt like she should never tell him that perhaps it would be better if he never knew, if he never had to go through the pain, that he'd never get to know how she'd let him down, how she hadn't been strong enough.

It was the miscarriage that plagued her mind, her sleep, almost every night she found herself waking in a hot sweat after a nightmare linked to losing the baby.

Gibbs hadn't mentioned the baby, its why he was so so attentive to her, making sure she was okay, that he could get her whatever she wanted, he didn't want to bring it up and hurt her, he wanted Jenny to tell him in his own time.

During the early hours of one morning he woke up, he reached out for Jenny, wanting to have some sort of contact with her, just to remind him that she did survive and that she was okay, that she was with him and not miles and miles away in a different country.

Beside him the bed was cold, his heart began to beat fast, hoping the panic soon would pass. "Jen" he called out, wondering if she'd gone to the bathroom or was walking around near bye, he then heard the squeaked of the back door, followed soon by the sound of it swinging shut with a heavy 'clunk'.

He slipped out of the double bed, dressed in his pyjama trousers and old NCIS t-shirt, he made his way over to the window, pulled back the curtain and looked out across the garden below under the golden hue of the rising sun.

Her red hair sparkled in the light as it swayed as she walked across the grass, he watched her collapse to the ground, landing on her knees with a thud and buried her head in her hands.

Before Gibbs' brain could even register his legs were carrying him down the stairs, through the ground floor of his house and out into the garden. He took a breath before deciding to approach his wife slowly, not to speak but he had to give her the silent support she deserved.

The mildew on the grass was cold and damp against Gibbs' bare feet and the morning air was cold through his thin t-shirt but nothing could keep him apart from Jenny, he had to be there for her.

Jenny didn't hear Gibbs approach her, she just felt him kneel beside her and pull her into his warm, loving embrace, she gripped on to his shirt like some sort of child, but she needed him, she needed his strength.

Gibbs ran a hand soothingly through her red hair and pressed a kiss to her head "It's okay" he mumbled, as he hugged her, his heart breaking, she shouldn't keep burden buried, she had to tell him.

After a few moments she lifted her head so she was facing him, he couldn't help but reach out and run his thumbs over her tear stained cheeks. "Jethro…I have to….I" as she spoke her lips trembled.

His blue eyes softened as he look at her, as he watched her try to tell him her pain, "Ziva told me" he admitted in a weak mumble, Jenny look at him for a moment before once again breaking down in his arms, hugging him tight.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" She kept repeated her apology into his chest, like it was all her fault, like she chose to lose the baby, like she had a choice and had made the wrong decision.

"It's not your fault" Gibbs assured her, his eyes becoming watery, he pressed more kisses to her red hair, "It's not your fault" he added.

"We could have had a baby" Jenny muttered "A beautiful baby" she added as she buried her head further into his chest, taking comfort in the warmth of his body, of his homely scent, he was the only person in the world that she could truly be herself. "Could have had your eyes" she added, having seen the baby in her nightmares.

"Could have your hair" he added, imagining the child in his mind "could be a girl, she'd look just like Kelly" he mused, not realising that he'd just said it out loud.

Jenny moved away from her husband, looking up at him with her watery green eyes "Who's Kelly?" she asked him.

Gibbs' eyes went wide, "My daughter" he admitted.

"What?" Jenny asked him, jumping up to her feet "You have a daughter?" she asked him, taking steps back, "You didn't tell me, we're married!" she yelled at him "After all the time we've been together, you couldn't find a minute to tell me that you have a daughter" she exclaimed before starting to walk back to the house, "I mean who is her mother?" Jenny asked him.

Gibbs reached out and pulled Jenny back to him "They died" Gibbs told her, Jenny's mouth dropped open, she was about to say something but she shook her hand from his grasp and then she walked as fast as she could through the house, slipping on a pair of ballet pumps, grabbing her car keys and a random jacket, she didn't know who's.

The ex-marine watched as his wife, walked out of their house and got into her car and drove away in the early morning sun, tears falling down her face.

He didn't even try to stop her from going, he knew that she liked to run, running was what she did, but he had trainers so he could run after her, so he could keep up with her, he just wanted to give her some time.

….

She hadn't planned on going to the park, out of all the places in Washington D.C there would have been better places to go, more obvious places she could go, places that didn't have kids of all ages with their parents, reminding her even more how she'd let her husband down.

Jenny was still dressed in her night shorts and vest top, the now midmorning air was cold so she wrapped Gibbs' oversized brown jacket further around her, she hadn't meant to take his jacket but she was glad she had, it smelt like him and felt like he was almost there with him, hugging her, comforting her.

Part of her knew that she was being stupid, that she couldn't have expected him to tell her easily about his past, it was heart breaking, his wife and daughter were dead, she didn't know how but she couldn't imagine with was anything but sudden.

Then there was the fact that she'd lost their baby, their child, he'd lost another child and it was all her fault, he must hate her so much, she hated herself so much. How could they ever move past this?

"Jen" a familiar voice drifted through the air, the redhead looked up from her shoes and saw her husband standing opposite her, he too wearing his pyjamas, not caring about the odd looks he got from people walking past.

She wondered for a moment why he wasn't wearing his jacket but then realised she was wearing it, "Jethro" she mumbled his name as he sat down beside her on the park bench she sat on. "I'm sorry" She admitted, "I over reacted…." She began but Gibbs cut her off.

"No…" he shook his head at her "You were right, I should have told you….you know me…..I find it hard to talk about things and…" he stopped speaking when Jenny reached across and took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers.

"How?" she asked, "Tell me about them" she added.

Gibbs shrugged his shoulders "There's not much really to tell" he admitted "I met Shannon in Stillwater before I joined the marines, a year after we married we had Kelly, then they both died in a car accident when I was deployed" he explained.

Jenny nodded slowly "Beautiful names" she mumbled, "How old?"

"Eight, Kelly was just eight" Gibbs added looking down at his shoes, he didn't want to face Jenny, being seen as weak in front of Jenny, it annoyed her a little but she understood his stubborn pride and she wouldn't expect anything less.

The redhead moved closer to her husband "How do you deal with it?" she asked after a moment, taking strength from him, the strength he gave her without trying.

"Together, we deal with this together, it'll get easier in time" he assured her.

"Are you sure you want that?" she asked him.

Gibbs looked at Jenny with concern "What do you mean?" he turned to face her.

"Together, do you really want to be together, after what I did, after what I lost?" she asked him, the only response she got was a light tap to the head before Gibbs kissed her on the lips, not caring who was around to see them, the kiss told her two things, one shut up and two, that they would be doing it together whether they like it or not.

TBC….

**Suggestions welcome, update soon. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jenny had now been at home for a month recovering from the events of Cairo. Dealing with the miscarriage and Gibbs sharing Shannon and Kelly with her had been an emotional roller coaster for them both but together, they'd gotten through it, together.

Gibbs lay awake one morning, his mind reeling from the fact that Jenny really had been home a month. To him it felt like the whole events of Cairo had happened yesterday.

He turned in his bed to look at his wife, he knew she had a meeting with Tom Morrow in a couple of hours, that would mean that he was probably planning to whisk her off to a foreign country, to separate them once again.

He just hoped that wherever they sent her this time she would be safe or at least safer than she had been in the last country.

The alarm clock beside him began to ring, his arm automatically reached out and switched it off and luckily it hadn't women Jenny which meant he would get to wake her up.

A smile graced his lips as he looked at the redhead beside him, "Jen" he whispered her name, in a soft tone that he only reserved for her, when she didn't respond he pressed a kiss to her cheek, chin ten nose. "We have to go to work" he spoke to her once again, this time she began to stir.

"Five more minutes" she groaned shuffling closer to Gibbs to snuggle into his side, to bask in the warmth emanating from his body.

"We have to go to work" he reminded her as he pushed her red curls out of her face. The redhead was still be stubborn and refusing to get up. "If we get up now then I'll let you share my shower" he tried to bribe her into not being late by salacious means.

She popped open one eye "Really you'll _let me_ share your shower" she teased, her voice full of amusement. "More like you _want me_ to share your shower" she added.

"Semantics" Gibbs growled at her before pulling her out of the bed by her hand and dragging her into the ensuit bathroom with him.

….

An hour later Gibbs stood in the kitchen, putting coffee in the two flasks so they could drink it on their way to work. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face, it had been a long time since he'd had to make two flasks of coffee on a Monday morning, oh he was going to miss her.

It had also been a long time since they'd both been at NCIS, he wondered how he would be able to keep the redhead from his team. They knew he was married, he wore his ring all the time, but he never spoke about Jenny, he sort of didn't want to tell them about her.

"Hey" Jenny greeted him as she walked into the room, She wore a knee length black skirt held up by a red belt, a black top and jacket to match, impossibly high red heels and finally her hair pulled back into a top notch. Gibbs thought she looked beautiful.

"Something wrong?" Jenny asked Gibbs, noting that he'd gone quiet all of a sudden.

"No, nothing" he assured her before turning around and grabbing the two flasks, "Ready to go?" he asked her.

"Yeah" she nodded "Are you sure I can take the car when my meeting's over, I mean I could get the bus or a taxi" Jenny suggested as they walked out of the house.

"Yeah" Gibbs assured her.

"How will you get home?" she asked, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at him.

Gibbs just shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, why don't I pick you up?" she suggested as they got to the car.

Gibbs just shrugged his shoulders again making Jenny roll her eyes at him before getting into the car, sometimes his silence was nice form their hectic life, but other times it was like having a conversation with a brick wall and it annoyed her.

The rest of the car journey to NCIS they spent in silence, occasionally when they were stuck at a traffic light Gibbs would reach across and hold Jenny's hand across the gear stick making her smile at him.

Twenty minutes later they arrived at NCIS, "When's your meeting with Morrow?" Gibbs asked her.

"Nine, I was going to visit Ducky first" Jenny explained as she had promised to have tea with him before she left again and also needed to kill time before her meeting. "Do you have a case?" she asked.

"No, just looking through cold cases to see if there's anything new" Gibbs grumbled, rubbing a tired hand down his face.

"I'll see you before I leave" she told him before they both got out of the car and made their way over to the NCIS building.

Luckily they found themselves alone in the elevator, Gibbs hit the button for the bullpen, Jenny hit the button for autopsy. "I'll come and see you before I leave" Jenny assured Gibbs when he handed her his car keys.

Gibbs nodded before kissing her quickly on the lips, knowing that the elevator doors would open soon. When he tried to walk out onto the bullpen, Jenny reached out and pulled Gibbs back to her "Stay safe".

His blue eyes softened as they looked at her, he leant forward and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before mumbling "I love you"

"I love you too" She replied before letting him walk away, sometimes she wished she could go back to the good old days of being on the same team as him or of working with him in Paris. Instead she had to look at the reality she had. They were married, happily she might add and she got to travel, something she always wanted.

The soft 'ding' of the elevator brought Jenny from her mind, she slipped out and walked to the autopsy where she walked in and found Ducky sitting at his desk and there was a young looking man checking the inventory.

"Jethro what can I do for you?" Ducky asked without turning around.

"Uh doctor…" the lanky, geeky, young man who'd been checking the inventory began but Jenny shook her head at him.

"Wrong Gibbs Ducky" Jenny laughed before watching the older man turn around sharply before getting out of his chair and going to her.

"Jennifer, what brings you here?" He asked hugging her.

"I have a meeting with Morrow but I wanted to see you first" Jenny hugged him back.

"Ugh Doctor" the younger man stepped forward, very bemused.

Ducky turned to the sandy coloured man "Mr Palmer, this is Jennifer Shepard an old friend" Ducky introduced.

"Nice to meet you Mr Palmer" Jenny nodded to him.

"Please call me Jimmy" he smiled at the women.

"Then call me Jenny, Ducky's the only one that calls me Jennifer" the redhead said smiling at Ducky and Jimmy.

"She used to be on Gibbs' team, left before DiNozzo joined" Ducky explained to the younger man.

"Cool" was the only response that came to Jimmy's mind, both older people gave him an almost sympathetic look.

Jenny took the lull of silence to turn to Ducky "I was actually wondering if you could do me a favour" she admitted.

"I'll go see Abby" Jimmy nodded before leaving autopsy so that Jenny and Ducky could be alone.

Once they were alone Ducky motioned for Jenny to sit but she shook her head, "Is everything okay Jennifer?"

"Fine" Jenny nodded, "I was just wondering if you could run some tests on me?" she asked him.

"What sort of tests?" he asked, his tone full of worry.

"After the….the miscarriage and everything in Cairo, I want to make sure that I am still able to have a child" She admitted, she knew the pain Gibbs felt but she wanted more than anything to give him a child, to give him something he deserved, something that had been ripped from him twice.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a proper doctor who is an expert in this field…." Ducky began.

Jenny shook her head "Both Jethro and I trust you more than any other random doctor" she assured him.

"Does Jethro know about your fears?" Ducky asked.

"No and you can't tell him" Jenny told him.

"Okay, well, I have time now if you'd like" he suggested, the redhead just nodded her head.

….

"Hey Abby" Jimmy greeted the Goth as he walked into her lab.

"Jimmy, what brings you to the labby?" she asked him in her ever bubbly manner, "Did Ducky and Gibbs kick you out of autopsy again?" Abby asked him.

"Uh Ducky yes but Gibbs no" Jimmy reply.

"Then who?" the women eyed him in almost and interrogating way.

"A women, her names Jenny, she used to be on Gibbs' team" Ducky blabbed.

"Really" Abby grinned "What does she look like, are here and Ducky close, could she be a girlfriend of his huh?" she asked three questions at once.

"I dunno" Jimmy shrugged his shoulders "She's about yay high" he made an attempt to estimate how tall she was, "Uh red-hair to her elbow, slim, classy dresser, I don't know, they hugged but seemed more paternal"

"Interesting" Abby nodded, "Did you get her last name?" she asked, ready to search her in the NCIS data base.

"Uh it was something like Sheep or Flock, I can't remember" Jimmy admitted.

Abby just shook her head and decided that she might try and catch this mysterious redhead before she left and get a look herself.

…..

Half an hour later and Jenny sitting on the edge of an autopsy table as Ducky explained what he'd found by the tests he'd ran "Your fine, there doesn't seem to be any damage that would affect you carrying or conceiving a child, your very healthy, I don't think you have anything to worry about"

Relief flooded through the redhead, she was hearing just what she wanted to "Thank you Ducky" she smiled, beyond happy.

"So am I to believe that you and Jethro are tying for a baby?" Ducky asked Jenny as she got down from the autopsy table.

"Uh not yet" she replied "We agree to at least thing about it once I'm permanently state side" she admitted.

"When will that be?" Ducky asked her.

Jenny shrugged her shoulders "I'm hoping this meeting with Morrow will help give me some indication and between you and me I hope it's soon, I can't take living so far away from Jethro" she admitted, being at home with him for the past four weeks had shown her how much she wanted to just stay in the states, just to stay at home, to be with her husband.

"Well all I'm going to say is don't waist precious years" he told her.

"I won't" Jenny smiled at him before kissing him on the cheek, "I'll call you later to tell you how the meeting went" she assured him before leaving autopsy.

On her way out she almost ran straight into a tall woman, in a white lab coat wearing all black and her hair in to pigtails "Sorry" Jenny mumbled before moving out of the women's way.

"Its okay" the women replied with a surprisingly perky smile, could this be the forensic scientist Abby that her husband had told her about?

….

Hours later Jenny sat in the living room, lost in thought about the meeting she'd had with Morrow. She wanted to tell Gibbs, wanted to find out what his reaction would be, it worried her slightly.

She was also waiting for a phone call from her husband asking her to pick him up as she took his car home, but as of yet she'd heard nothing.

The sound of the front door opening surprised her, "Jen" Gibbs' voice called from the hall.

"In here" Jenny called to him, her voice full of surprise.

"Hey" he greeted when he walked into the living room and found her on the sofa, he kissed her on the lips quickly.

"I thought you wanted me to pick you up" she reminded him as she came to sit down on the sofa beside her.

"Ducky offered me a lift" he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders, he didn't want to bother her. "How did your meeting with morrow go?" he asked her.

Jenny smiled "He offered me a promotion" she told him, Gibbs nodded for her to go on "He wants me to be the deputy director"

"Jen that's great" he told her hugging her tight and she hugged him back "I'm so proud of you" he kissed her and she kissed him, "Where will you be based?" he asked after a moment.

"Uh, Four months back in London and then I can be where I want" she informed him, leaving the 'And I want to be with you' unsaid as it was the obvious,

"So in four months you can come home for good?" he asked her.

"Yeah, four months starting Friday" She grinned at him. Four Months, four months and they could finally be together, for good.

TBC….

**I hope you guys like, please review, suggestions welcome. **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Three months seemed to draw on, Gibbs and his team seemed to have been chosen to deal with every difficult case there had been. Yes they were the major case response team but didn't they still deserve some sort of break from all the insanity. It seemed it had been dubbed they would not.

Despite his heavy case load, Gibbs still managed to call his wife every evening before he'd go work on his boat and drink bourbon. Much of the conversation was him listening to her talk about her day, about how she missed him, about how she loved him. He just liked to take in the comfort and solitude of her voice knowing that she was right there, the sound of her breathing gave him comfort that she was alright.

He missed her most at nights, he only ever used their bed when she was there. He'd found when she'd first began working away if he went to sleep in their bed he would wake up in the middle of the night and reach out for her but find nothing but an empty, cold side of the bed. He hated it, it made him feel not only alone but reminded him of how the women he loved was miles and miles away.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay boss?" Tim McGee asked his boss as he drove them to Gibbs' house.

Since leaving the NCIS headquarters Gibbs hadn't said a word, instead he'd settled with looking out the passenger door window, watching the rain roll down the window like tears rolling down someone's face.

"M'fine" he grumbled in return to his youngest agent. Gibbs knew that what Tim was doing was a very nice favour, out of the kindness of his own heart but the older man wasn't in the mood to be nice. His whole body hurt, he had a major headache and his old knee injury was hurting again. Who knew being pushed down the stairs by a suspect could hurt so much, especially smacking in the side of his head on the bottom step.

With all the painkillers Ducky had given him the doctor had suggested he wasn't in a fit state to drive, Ducky himself had a date at the Opera, Abby had bowling with the Nun's, Kate had to go visit her sister and Tony was the one who let the suspect get away causing Gibbs to be pushed down the stairs so it left only McGee.

"Do you want me to pick you up on Monday?" Tim asked realising Gibbs had left his car at NCIS and so wouldn't have it all weekend or to get to work on Monday. It was then Gibbs noticed they were sitting outside of his house.

"No, thanks" Gibbs shook his head before get out of the car and limped to his front door, happy for once knowing that his door was unlocked. The closer he got to the front door he began to notice a box sitting on his doorstep.

When he reached it, he picked up the package noting that the rain was beginning to soak through the box and into the contense, tucking the package under his arm, he continued his journey into the house, shutting the front door behind him and then made his way into his disused living room.

He hissed as he sat down on the sofa, one that used to be in Jenny's house but had insisted in moving to his as his old sofa was no good, his knee was still sending a shooting pain up his leg, one that almost made it hard for him to breath.

Once Gibbs found comfort again he pulled the pocket knife from his belt and then cut the cello tape on the package and opened it. He tipped the contense out onto his lap. On to his lap fell a bag, the logo on it was a shop he didn't recognise so he just put his hand in and pulled out the items. What he came across made him almost forget how to breath.

The ex-marine was sat on the sofa staring at the two items, both his hands holding one each. He blinked a few times to really register what it was he was looking at. His heart was beating faster than normal but if he was about to have a heart attack he wouldn't have registered it because his brain was reeling so much.

Shoes, someone had sent him a pair of teeny tiny shoes. They were clean, crisp white in colour with small laces at the front. His brain couldn't fathom why someone would do this, looking down at the bag he looked at the logo on the bag. 'Baby Gap'.

So they were baby shoes, but why would someone send him baby shoes. He wondered if there had been a mix up with the address so looked at the box and saw that it was labelled for his address, he decided there must have been a mix up so began to look for a return address.

As he flipped the box he saw that there was a piece of paper inside. Gibbs pulled it out in the hopes that it would have some sort of return address on it, instead he was knocked back a second time.

He's seen this sort of grainy, grey image before, it had been many years ago but he still knew what a sonogram looked like. Noting writing on the back he flipped it over and read the ever so familiar curly calligraphy 'Baby Gibbs, Three months'.

For the first time in a long while he had to blink back tears, a baby, he hoped to dear God that this was true and that it wasn't someone playing a sick joke. Now he really had to find where this package came from.

He looked at the box again and noticed a small sticker, it had been damage by the rain so was a little smudged but he could make out the words 'London, United Kingdom'. Jenny, she must have sent it, his heart began to pick up rhythm again and he could almost feel himself begin to shake.

Gibbs knew he wouldn't believe any of it until it left his wife's lips first. He reached out and picked up the home phone before ringing a familiar number.

"Shepard" a familiar voice picked up after a couple of a few rings.

"Hey Jen" Gibbs greeted her, his eyes still looking at the sonogram and baby boots in his lap.

"I wasn't expecting your call until a little later" Jenny admitted, she was in bed with the five hour time difference but she'd only just crawled into bed and he usually called after she'd read a chapter of her latest book.

"I can call back if you're busy" Gibbs joked knowing she wouldn't want him to.

"Of course not" she smiled, he knew she'd be smiling, he missed her smile. "How was your day?" she asked him as she snuggled back into the pillow behind her.

"Fine, usual, put a bad guy away" he joked, not wanting to worry her about his trip down the stairs, "How about you?" he asked, he wanted her to bring up the package not him let her tell him.

"Fine, the usual, put a bad guy away" Jenny copied his answer in the hopes of hearing his rare laugh, one that warmed her heart in a way he couldn't imagine. "So um….Did you get any mail today?" she asked, a hand unconsciously going to her stomach.

"Yes, actually I meant to talk to you about that" Gibbs began trying to be as smooth as possible, "I'm going to have to return the shoes, they're a little small" he chuckled making Jenny herself laugh.

They soon lapsed into a comfortable silence, neither really sure what to say. "Jen…." He spoke her name softly after a moment.

"Jethro" she took a deep breath to calm her nerves before telling him what she'd been wanting to tell him since she found out two weeks ago. "I'm pregnant".

Gibbs broke out into a grin, a mix of excitement and loved filled him, finally he heard the words, she was setting it in stone, making it final, they were going to have a baby.

"Jethro…." Jenny spoke his name again after he didn't respond, she began to doubt that this was a good thing, yes he'd been positive about it when she came back to the states and that would only be in four weeks but was this all too soon and sudden for him. Maybe he wouldn't be able to handle another child after what had happened to Kelly. "I….I know this was sudden…..Not planned but I….I want this baby but I want it more than anything…." She began, her voice a little shaky.

"I want this baby too" Gibbs assured her from the other end of the phone "I want the baby as much as you do" he added for extra assurance.

"Then what's the problem?" she asked him, sensing there was something brothering him.

Gibbs sighed "I just wished you were here with me…..I wish I could kiss you, hold you…" he admitted, this separation had been killing him but these last four weeks would be extra hell because he wouldn't be there to go through these stages of pregnancy with her.

"I know, me too" Jenny replied to him, "I love you" she added with a soft sigh.

"I love you too" Gibbs assured her, " l love you both" he added hoping it would warm her heart and make her smile.

The rest of the phone call was spent with Jenny explaining how she'd found out about the pregnancy two weeks ago via a home pregnancy test but had wanted to wait until she'd seen the doctor to confirm that everything was okay before telling him, she'd seen the doctor sometime late last week and everything was perfectly fine.

That night Gibbs slept in their bed for once, his head buried in his wife's pillow and on the bedside cabinet sat the sonogram of their beautiful baby and it was the best night sleep he'd had in three months.

TBC….

**Hope you guys like please review…..**


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